TIL DEBT DO US PART
Ah true love, isn’t it grand?
You have finally found the one, and you are ready to pop the question… will you marry me? To your astonishment, she says yes!
You have been dating since your early 20’s and life is fantastic. Travel, good wine, true companionship and lots of love along the way helps to paint a portrait of your long-term relationship ahead leading up to “the big day.” Then you hear the words “I now pronounce you husband and wife,” and you become husband and wife, happily ever after.
Shortly after getting married, you finally find your dream home and settle on your loan. It’s a modest home, in an affordable suburban area situated close to schools so that you are able to care for your future childrens education needs.
You purchase new cars for eachother and put each car onto a car loan to make repayments more manageable. The dealer had a great deal where in 4 years time they guarantee the future value of your car for trade in, meaning that in 4 years you can sell your now old car and upgrade to a new car. How awesome!!
Your career blossoms in your mid 20’s and leading up to your 30’s you start to think about the future of you both, and the elephant in the room that everyone keeps asking… “when will you be having children?”
You find yourself, mid 30’s with 2 beautiful children realising the area which you have purchased your beautiful home at the time has changed over the years and the area is now less desirable and fails to meet the growing needs of your family. You decide to sell your home, move to another area, and find a nicer home in a nicer area, more ideal for family life.
On top of that, you notice that your husband has had enough of corporate life and his soul has been drained. He decides that enough is enough and steps away from the old life to begin his own business. During this transition you both realise that being a business owner is very challenging needing to understand tax, GST, superannuation etc, and realising that if you do not work you do not get paid. No more holiday pay, no more leave, and a lot less family time.
It’s not until you get to this point that you may be in your late 30’s, or early 40’s that you find yourself with a mortgage of over $450,000 to repay, 2 car loans, a maxed out credit card, business tax bills that are overdue, and a full-time business to run as well, and it feels like you are taking care of everybody else and their expectations, everybody elses except yours.
You feel like all you are doing is paying bills, that you will never get ahead and that you are drowning in debt with no way forward.
You find yourself laying in bed at night, worrying, fearful and scared.
Your relationship becomes strained as you discover he love and the fun you had for one another in your 20’s living life in a care-free way had not been a priority for you both. You start snapping at one another because you are both tired with running children from A to B, and don’t have a moment to spend on yourself. Life was supposed to be simple, but now it just feels overwhelming.
You realise that it’s time to take a step back before life as you know it all falls apart.
Take a breath and ground yourself.
Seek gratitude for all the things in your life that make you happy.
The roof over your head.
The food on your table.
Your love for one another.
Your love for your family.
When you feel lost in the fog it is often difficult to see who you were, only who you have become.
Now is the time to reassess your life and regain control of your clarity, your life and your vision going forward. Taking care of yourself has been a long time coming, but now it is your time, and like the late king Elvis Presley once said “it’s now or never…”
Talk to your partner about seeking help for a clear plan going forward, and start the discussion in a positive way. Keep judgement at bay and understand that there is never an excuse for a he-said, she-said type argument or yelling. Your conversations with one another remain open, positive, and constructive.
Life doesn’t have to be out of control, stressful and uncertain. With the right plan in place your love can shine again, your happiness, your confidence, and your new way of life will open up paths you have never dreamed of.
We can help you get your debt sorted. Are you ready to remember who you once were and ready to live your best life?