Christmas Traditions | Guilt From Dead People
Every year like clockwork Christmas rolls around. Along with the tree, the food, the familiar rituals… comes the pressure. And often it’s the guilt that follows…
A lot of the traditions we cling to at Christmas like buying gifts we can’t afford, hosting when we’re exhausted, bending over backwards to keep everyone happy aren’t really ours. They’re hand-me-downs. Passed down from family members who may or may not even be with us anymore.
Maybe it was Nan’s famous lunch, or Auntie Mavis’s rule that everyone needed a present. It could have also been Grandpa’s idea that appearances must always be kept up, and that as a family we all need to keep doing the same things we always do because ‘that’s what we do at Christmas.’
It makes you wonder if our Christmas traditions that we experience today are really just a result of guilt from dead people.Because most of us (without even realising it) choose to keep these traditions alive. Not because they serve us, but because we feel like we have to out of obligation, in ‘memory’ of times gone by…
And this obligation of memory brings a heaviness that comes with this time of year. For many of us we want to make memories. We don’t want to feel alone. We want to keep the “good stuff” alive, even though it may be long gone… and it’s this feeling of ‘keeping the traditions alive’ that keep us stuck in our past.
But do we really need to embrace traditions that keep us stuck?
Why can’t we create our own abundant and positive traditions? Future generations will have the benefit of feeling great at Christmas (without the guilt) which they can then pass down to future generations allowing great times, great memories with the shackles off!
Sometimes in chasing the feeling of Christmas, we forget to check: Does this still fit the life I live now?
- Are we spending money we don’t have?
- Saying yes when we need to say no?
- Trying to impress people we don’t even like, just because “that’s how it’s always been done?”
If so, it’s probably time for a reset (blasphemy I know).
Keeping outdated traditions alive out of guilt – especially guilt from people who aren’t with us anymore – doesn’t serve you, your wallet, or your well-being. It keeps you stuck in the harm, and stuck in the ‘muck.’
It doesn’t need to be this way. In fact, it’s okay to let go, and it’s okay to evolve.
This Christmas we encourage you to ask yourself:
- What do you actually want this Christmas to feel like?
- Who do you want at your table? Invite them…
- Who do you not want at your table? Don’t invite them… (and set boundaries)
- How are you going to make this Christmas the best ever without the age-old traditions holding you back?
Whether you realise it or not you have an amazing opportunity ahead of you. An opportunity to break the Christmas mold, and instead of running on autopilot, you have the opportunity to choose intention over obligation.
Talk to your family. Get clear on what you want. Get on the same page and identify what you all need.
Maybe this Christmas is about rest, maybe it’s about saving… maybe it’s about finally saying “no” to chaos, and “yes” to peace.
Whatever this Christmas season brings to you make sure that you are in control, intentionally – without obligations keeping you stuck, because Christmas should not leave you starting January broke, stressed, or burned out. The best gift you can give you and your family this year is a fresh start and new traditions built with purpose, not pressure.
When you honour your past, you build your future. And letting go of what no longer serves you doesn’t mean letting go of love or memories of those you love. It means honouring where you came from, while making choices that support the life you’re building now.
This festive season, we encourage you to:
- Ditch the over-spending.
- Say no to guilt (especially the guilt we put on ourselves).
- Focus on connection over consumption.
- And build traditions that reflect your life today and support your future tomorrow… (not the traditions your relatives gave to you 20 years ago!).
This year it’s time to break away from traditions that no longer fit and let go of all the Christmas guilt, and to create new memories, new rituals, and a new path one that reflects who you are now, and where you want to go.
We encourage you to be brave, be bold and celebrate this Christmas on your terms.
From all of us at Your Budget Mates: We wish you a joyful, intentional Christmas that leaves you smiling into the New Year, not drowning in debt or exhaustion.
Your best year starts now. Merry Christmas.
