Christmas Traditions | Guilt From Dead People
A lot of the traditions we cling to at Christmas like buying gifts we can’t afford, hosting when we’re exhausted, bending over backwards to keep everyone happy aren’t really ours. They’re hand-me-downs. Passed down from family members who may or may not even be with us anymore.
Maybe it was Nan’s famous lunch, or Auntie Mavis’s rule that everyone needed a present. It could have also been Grandpa’s idea that appearances must always be kept up, and that as a family we all need to keep doing the same things we always do because ‘that’s what we do at Christmas.’
Are the Christmas traditions that we ‘choose’ to follow today really just guilt from dead people?
Because most of us (without even realising it) choose to keep these traditions alive. Not because they serve us, but because we feel like we have to out of obligation, in ‘memory’ of times gone by…
And this obligation of memory brings a heaviness that comes with this time of year. For many of us we want to make memories. We don’t want to feel alone. We want to keep the “good stuff” alive, even though it may be long gone… and it’s this feeling of ‘keeping the traditions alive’ that keep us stuck in our past.
But do we really need to embrace traditions that keep us stuck?
Why can’t we create our own abundant and positive traditions? Future generations will have the benefit of feeling great at Christmas (without the guilt) which they can then pass down to future generations allowing great times, great memories with the shackles of past expectations gone.
Sometimes in chasing the feeling of Christmas, we forget to check in with ourselves. What are we really celebrating?
- Are we spending money we don’t have?
- Saying yes when we need to say no?
- Trying to impress people we don’t even like, just because “that’s how it’s always been done?”
Keeping outdated traditions alive out of guilt, especially guilt from people who aren’t with us anymore doesn’t serve you, your wallet, or your well-being. It keeps you stuck in the harm, and stuck in the ‘muck.’
But it doesn’t need to be this way. It’s okay to let go, it’s okay to evolve, and it’s okay to embrace change.
This Christmas we encourage you to ask yourself:
- What do you actually want this Christmas to feel like?
- Who do you want at your table? Invite them…
- Who do you not want at your table? Don’t invite them… (and set boundaries)
- How are you going to make this Christmas the best ever without the age-old traditions holding you back?
Talk to your family. Get clear on what you want. Get on the same page and identify what you all need.
Maybe this Christmas is about rest, maybe it’s about saving… maybe it’s about finally saying “no” to chaos, and “yes” to peace.
Whatever this Christmas season brings to you make sure that you are in control, intentionally, without obligations keeping you stuck, because Christmas should not leave you starting the new year broke, stressed, or burned out. The best gift you can give you and your family this year is a fresh start and new traditions built with purpose, not pressure.
When you honour your past, you build your future. Letting go of what no longer serves you doesn’t mean letting go of love or memories of those you love. It means honouring where you came from, while making choices that support the life you’re building now.
This festive season, we encourage you to:
- Ditch the over-spending.
- Say no to guilt (especially the guilt we put on ourselves).
- Focus on connection over consumption.
- And build traditions that reflect your life today and support your future tomorrow… (not the traditions your relatives gave to you 20 years ago!).
We encourage you to be brave, be bold and celebrate this Christmas on your terms.
From all of us at Your Budget Mates: We wish you a joyful, intentional Christmas that leaves you smiling into the New Year, not drowning in debt or exhaustion. A massive thank you to all who have supported us throughout 2025 – our clients, our referral partners, our mentors.
Your best year starts now. Merry Christmas.
At Your Budget Mates, we’re here to help you take the stress out of money management. Book your complimentary discovery meeting, grab our free resources and let’s make the next financial year your best yet.
Visit: www.yourbudgetmates.com.au
Blog: www.yourbudgetmates.com.au/blog
It’s never been a better time to get started on your journey to financial well-being.
Andrew & Alyssa Mates, Your Budget Mates.
Sort your budget, you sort your life.
