Alyssa Mates – Newsletter, Fifth Edition. How quitting caffeine changed my relationship with money…

I didn’t expect this one, but here we are…

This one is personal. More personal than most things I share. But I think it might be exactly what some of you need to hear – so here goes.

Not so long ago, I was drinking at least five coffees a day. It was just part of who I was. Coffee to start the morning, coffee to get through the afternoon, coffee because I was tired, coffee because I liked it, coffee because everyone around me was having one. I didn’t think twice about it.

What I also had – and had for a long time – was racing thoughts. A mind that rarely went quiet. An undercurrent of anxiety that I had simply accepted as my personality. I thought I was just a busy person with a busy mind. I thought that was just me.

The Experiment I Almost Didn’t Try:

Eventually, I decided to try switching to decaf. Not for any dramatic reason – just curiosity, really. And something shifted. The anxiety that had been humming in the background started to soften. The racing thoughts slowed down. I slept better. I felt – and this is the only word for it – calmer.

So I took it further. On the 28th of December 2025 (after extreme pestering from Andrew) I quit caffeine altogether. And the change was remarkable. Not overnight, and not without a few rough days in between. But on the other side of it? The anxiety I had been carrying for years was largely gone. Not managed, not dulled – gone. I felt like myself. A quieter, clearer, more grounded version of myself that I hadn’t met in a very long time.

You Don’t Know How Anxious You Are Until You Remove It:

This is the thing nobody tells you. When anxiety has been your baseline for long enough, it stops feeling like anxiety. It just feels like you. You stop noticing the constant low-level stress because it has become the wallpaper of your life. You only see how tense you were when the tension is finally gone.

I had no idea how much the caffeine was amplifying everything – the worry, the overthinking, the feeling of being slightly overwhelmed all the time – until I took it away. And when it lifted, the difference was undeniable.

Something Else Nobody Talks About:

Here is something I learned along the way that genuinely surprised me: caffeine blocks the absorption of magnesium. And magnesium is one of the most important minerals for a calm, functioning nervous system. It plays a direct role in regulating mood, reducing anxiety, and helping the body manage stress.

So not only was the caffeine itself ramping up my nervous system – it was also quietly depleting the very mineral that could have helped settle it. I had been working against myself without even knowing it. Once I understood that, quitting felt less like giving something up and more like finally giving my body a fair chance.

What Does This Have To Do With Money?

Everything, as it turns out.

So much of our difficult relationship with money is not actually about money. It is about the state we are in when we try to deal with it. When you are anxious, every financial decision feels weighted with danger. Every number on a page feels like a threat. Every bill, every balance, every budget conversation carries a charge that makes you want to look away rather than look clearly.

When the anxiety lifted – when my nervous system finally had some peace – I could look at my finances differently. More clearly. More calmly. Without the catastrophising, without the avoidance, without the low hum of dread that used to accompany anything money-related. The numbers hadn’t changed. I had.

Self-responsibility begins with your body. What you put into it. How you treat it. Whether you are giving it a fighting chance to think straight and feel steady. That is not separate from your financial well-being – it is the foundation of it.

Will You Give It 30 Days?

I am not here to tell you what to do. You are a grown adult and you know your own body. But I will ask you this – if anxiety, racing thoughts, or a sense of overwhelm are part of your daily life, is it possible that something you’re consuming every single day is making it worse? And is it worth finding out?

Thirty days. That’s all. Switch to decaf first if going cold turkey feels too much. Notice how you feel at the end of week one, week two, week three. Notice what changes – not just in your mood, but in how you think about money. In how willing you are to open the banking app, look at the numbers, have the conversation you’ve been putting off.

You might surprise yourself.

Your Invitation This Month:

Sit quietly for a moment – without a coffee in hand – and ask yourself honestly:

How anxious am I, really – on a normal day?
What would it feel like to operate from a place of calm?
Is there one thing I could remove or reduce that might help?
What might become possible if the background noise quietened down?

The most important investment you will ever make is in your own clarity. Sometimes that starts with what’s in your cup.

If this resonated with you, reach out – I’d love to connect.

— Alyssa Mates