Behind The Scenes: Dealing With Vulnerability & Overcoming Adversity
A lot of people ask us, “how is it, that you guys always seem so relaxed?” Well… let’s just say, we have had a lot of life “experience” and we have been through a lot of shit…
Did you know that in 2019 our Director Andrew Mates had an underlying asymptomatic pneumonia (non-infectious) for 16 weeks and was falling asleep all the time? During this time Alyssa would drive to client appointments with Andrew in the passenger seat, asleep…
Alyssa would wake Andrew up on arrival so that he could deliver an amazing budget review to clients, allowing them to take the next steps in their success, and then return to the car to sleep on the way home. During this time Andrew never stopped giving and even delivered a 2-hour budget workshop at a local community event. He fell asleep as soon as he got home (completely uniformed, shoes and all) and slept for about 4 hours.
We also discovered during this time that a late notice came in the post from our council for a missed quarterly payment. What we discovered was that Andrew “made the payment” but before clicking submit via the online banking portal, fell asleep at his desk (after writing paid on the bill), and the payment timed out! In hindsight, we had a little giggle over this…
Did you know that late 2020 our Mindfulness Coach Alyssa Mates died twice, once at home and the other in hospital? Andrew & Alyssa wanting to start family discovered that Alyssa had been dealing with stage 4 Endometriosis, making pregnancy near impossible, and had surgery for the endometriosis removed late 2020. What followed 2 weeks later was a massive hemorrhage which led to a half kilo blood clot (delivered in hospital via a non-dilated cervix – and in full view of Andrew), 40% blood loss, absolute agony, organ failure, and died on the emergency table.
Alyssa was brought back by the stellar team at Queen Elizabeth Hospital and spent the next 3 days in a ward recovering. Following her recovery time, the doctors said that she was all good and that “this will never happen again,” and sent her home.
3 days later it happened again…
This time worse…
Andrew heard the loudest bang whilst opening the gate and waiting for the ambulance crew to arrive. Alyssa had passed out on the toilet, face planted the floor (didn’t break her glasses – her saving grace), and was non-responsive as Andrew tried to wake her. Thankfully the ambulance crew weren’t far behind who then rushed Alyssa to emergency at Queen Elizabeth Hospital where she died on the table. Alyssa woke to all sirens going off, every screen flashing red and wondering what had just happened.
4 x blood transfusions later…
An Iron infusion…
More blood loss…
More fatigue…
The second time around the crew in emergency recognised us because whilst Alyssa was on the table and conscious, we were joking as we were the first time around, and having a laugh. Probably not what everyone would do in the same situation, but it worked for us.
When out of resus, and waiting in emergency for a ward bed, Alyssa and I had a very serious conversation around our life, our insurances, our mortgage, our business and our relationship – our love. We realised that we didn’t need to sweat the small stuff, the money stuff or anything else as we already had a clear plan around what was needed to be done.
We knew the road to recovery for Alyssa would be long, as Alyssa’s hair had started falling out, blood loss had reduced Alyssa’s energy levels, increased her fatigue and much of her time was spent resting and sleeping. Even walking to the couch to the fridge was exhausting.
It took from January 2021 to June 2021 for Alyssa to feel “normal-ish” again, and to recommence normal daily duties.
During this time Alyssa only missed one coaching call.
During this time Andrew had been re-branding Adelaide Budgeting to Your Budget Mates, designing website update/s, dealing with accounting software breakdowns, synchronising calendars and systems, and continuing to deliver service to clients and spending every single day in hospital with Alyssa.
We wanted to share this story with you because the reality is that we are both real people, just like you. We have good times and we have bad times, and we have been through shit too (literally!). When you have lived through moments of great trauma, you learn to develop skills to be able to have open conversations in all areas, which builds resilience and life-experience that we use in our everyday life, to help other people just like us going through shit. You also learn to never sweat the small stuff…
Our experience has taught us to thrive in the face of adversity as we truly love the work we do. Our passion and our life mission is delivering the absolute best possible experience for all our clients, and help them through roadblocks as we have experienced within our own lives.
If it wasn’t for the tools and the systems that we have in our business and personal life that we have in place, such as our money tools, our life tools and the measures that we have in place to determine how to survive in the face of adversity, we would be lost.
Whats more, in the moment Andrew wouldn’t have been able to be fully present and be there for Alyssa when she needed him the most. How would you cope in these situations? Please whatever you do…
Don’t take your health for granted…
Don’t take your life for granted…
Don’t take your loved ones for granted…
Live with passion and purpose each day and you will never have a day that has been wasted. Keep pushing forward with that of which you love.
If it wasn’t for our passion, for the love of what we do and the love of our clients, we wouldn’t be here today.
I am so grateful to have Alyssa, my love, my wife and my soul mate still by my side. Just over 6 short months ago I thought I lost her twice… It was one of the scariest and loneliest times of my life.
Photos below…
